Seasons

From a young age we all strive to form friendships, to feel that special moment of ‘oh yes, you get me’ as warm spirits meet, cautiously at first then unconsciously a life-long friendship is cemented. To have even one-two o’clock in the morning friend, on whom to call or come over without fear of disturbing in moments of need, fear, sadness or even celebration is a blessing indeed.

Growing up is really interesting at the same time really frustrating. Friendship is classified into two, one who is true and one who is close, or are they basically the same thing, two in one. According to me, only our truest and closest friends know us to the core, the inner worries, the films and books that will bring us to tears of laughter. Only lifelong friends from a young know the ‘whole’ us, events at school, childhood, teenage years that are so instrumental in forming the person of today. Only with them can you reminisce about the broken hearts of young love, the friendship breakups which cut so deep, the scars still raw.

We get hopeful that our friends will be there for better or worse. We can’t help it! In the midst of desperation, a smile will be plastered across our face as we greet others in the street, at work. In a snatched lunch hour a text full of your true feelings will be sent and soon a reply from a good friend brings soothing comfort and support.

My mother always told me, before anyone, you have God, then there is you and then your family and friends. Growing up I saw my mum crying over most of her closest friends due to death and it really broke my heart, I remember even confronting her about this. She would say "Everything in life has seasons. even human beings, we can't expect them to be around forever". I was young so didn't grasp all this until now.

I have friends who have been in my life for decades and I have some who have been in my life for years or days, are they close or are they true? Am I close to them or am I true to them? Friendship is a two-way traffic, we all need a shoulder to lean on once in a while, then life happens, we all get busy with it that we forget each other.

I always thought friends were people who would keep promises, talk to you every day or so, always be there for you when you needed them…etc. It really did frustrate me when my closest friends were not there when I needed them most. The mistake I did I thought they should always keep tags, I know I always keep tags on people I consider important, but that's me not them. So it really made me feel sad to the point I just wanted to be alone.

Friends are important don't get it twisted, but we should not give them tags. We should embrace them when they are in our lives because just like seasons some will stay in good times, others will not. Friendships take many shapes and when young you believe friendship is one solely between peers. The sense of joy is overwhelming when you realize how short-sighted, how juvenile you’ve been and later you become aware that the security of friendship is found not only in platonic relationships(intimate and affectionate but not sexual) but also in loving ones. This really does feel like hitting the jackpot!

Like relationships, friendships take work – hard work at times! Like relationships there can be break-ups, big ones that reverberate across a large group of people, as the ground shifts, old friendships crumble, new ones are formed. Unlike most relationships, friendships can be sustained for months, even years, with only remote contact – it is amazing how one can sense the others problems, call just at the right time, how easy it is to slot back into relaxed chat after a three-year apart and pick up the conversation as if from the day before. 

The journey of life, with its highs of happiness and lows of loss and suffering, would be unbearable without the constant presence of friends – the shared expedition easing the load, doubling the joy. As friendships take a new format in the world of interconnectedness a new source of inspiration, support and sharing are created. Its warm adds a ray of sunshine and hope on the aspects of the internet.

So, to new and old friends here on Discover Tina Edwards, I ask you to join in a virtual celebratory toast to friendships everywhere, cheers!